This isn't a planned post at all but I felt the overwhelming need to write so I am doing. I don't know if I'm the only one this happens to - I imagine not - but lately I just feel like life is really catching up with me and overnight my priorities, wants and needs from life have all changed.

Now a lot of this has been ongoing since the end of last year but recently I find myself flipping from wanting to run away and be single, living off the land; and then the next minute I want marriage, a house, a family. It's so disorienting and I don't quite know how to find balance. Maybe it's the influence from many around me either going off on adventures or settling down and having children (seriously though, like, EVERYONE is having babies right now!)

On a personal level there's been a huge shift for me where I came to the realisation that I am in fact a hoarder and was getting myself into a rather worse situation than I was already in. I managed to tackle it before the hoarding caused much of a cleanliness issue (dust mainly), however I'm now the opposite end of the scale where the sight of mess and clutter induces a panic attack. I want much less 'stuff', no mess and everywhere tidy; unfortunately this isn't an easy thing to achieve as years of hoarding means there's a lot of things to sort through, throw out and clean, which of course takes time. Knowing that there's so much to tackle also becomes very demotivating and instead of getting things done and making progress, things have remained stagnant despite how much I want to sort my life out.

Naturally there are a lot more contributing factors to my situation, including ongoing issues with my health (hence the lack of posting) which is very frustrating but I'm forced to take things day by day. I plan to talk more about health, well-being and how I've tackled my issues in future posts but for now I just wanted to get this off my chest. If any of you can relate to anything mentioned in this post I'm right there with you. It's hard being a certain age and seeing everyone else settle with their life but feel the one who is still mentally flighty, footloose and fancy free!

Do you think there's such a thing as 'age appropriate' behaviour?

Stay curious

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