Things have been a little quiet on the blogging and social media front from me over the past couple of weeks and unfortunately that's down to real life getting in the way. I'm proud that I've managed to fight through most things and find balance between blogging and my reality, posting weekly for a significant amount of time; things are now so overwhelming though that I have little headspace for blogging and engaging with others. Naturally I hate this, it's so frustrating to once again feel like I'm isolating myself but my anxiety has been through the roof lately and I am finding it hard to be around others. The good thing is that I know there's an end to it when I finish college this Summer, but it's still a long way off with plenty of obstacles in the way.

College is much busier now it's final year and time to do our research projects, but I'm also playing catch up on other pieces of work I'm behind on due to a shocking previous year full of health issues. Thankfully I've made some headway on that but it's an ongoing process, naturally because of this I'm busier than most of my classmates. Add in chronic fatigue, asthma, vitamin B12 deficiency and vitamin D deficiency, life is a lot more difficult to manage in finding the right balance. 

Because of this I've decided that I'm going to take any pressure off myself and go back to blogging when I have time/when I feel like it so as not to jeopardise my college work; I'm a classic case when it comes to finding ways of procrastinating. It's not ideal but like I say, by Summer I'm a free agent and I'll have much more time to get back on track and really take my hobby seriously because it brings me so much joy.

I hope you can understand and if there's anything else you'd like to know or chat about, hit me up in the comments below!

Stay curious

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* Header picture from stocksnap.io

I honestly have no idea, I can't remember what I even used to do before blogging...how crazy is that?! I think I'd be absolutely lost but would still be attempting to paint/do crafty things/indulge in photography; something with a creative edge. Or if all else failed I'd probably buy an Xbox and just game 24/7!

Currently it's usually about my hair, questions like "What have you done to your hair?" "Why have you chosen hair like that" really grate on me. I imagine a lot of people with hairstyles different to the 'norm' get asked things like this and I just find it rude & thoughtless, plus it really puts me on the spot which is far from ideal with anxiety looming on your shoulder. It comes across as an immediate, insulting judgement that my choice of hairstyle is somewhat horrendous, poor or grotesque even if that's not the intention in asking. I think a lot of the time people's curiosity leads to poor wording when "what made you choose to have your hair like that?" would make a world of difference in how it comes across. Saying that, there isn't need to explain or justify things like hair, tattoos or piercings but that's often the way it is!

Although Autumn really won me over this year it was mainly due to the fact it was warm, I'm disloyal to seasons if one is warmer than the other! So I'd have to say Summertime because you have the best chance of it being temperate and the lighter nights make me feel much better mentally, plus there's more chance to get out into nature and go exploring.

Once I started following other bloggers I found the community/sub-communities quite easily and feel I gravitated naturally to the people I could better relate to. Saying that I'm not a person who ever feels like I 'fit in' anywhere despite being surrounded by wonderful and kind people.

This is probably highly predictable and I'm cringing internally at how much of a consumerist I'm going to sound but I'd have to say Primark. I love all the hippie/alternate shops I frequent but at least in Primark there's a mix of everything from homeware to clothing; so if it had to be forever I'd want somewhere reasonably priced where I can get most things (apart from food...dammit)

Chloe Bee's Life / The Raven Woman / Northern Blood / The Awakened Indigo / Vee o Sullivan / Adventure & Anxiety / Life Beauty Lens

There's so many wonderful blogs to choose from, I wish I could include them all! And apologies if anyone's already been nominated! 

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?
2. What made you want to start blogging initially?
3. If you could tell your younger self one thing what would it be?
4. Do you believe in fate?
5. If you were to describe yourself purely as a landscape what would you choose and why (eg. jungle, beach, mountains etc)?
6. What did you want to be when you were younger & have you stuck to that?
7. What's your favourite part about blogging?

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Header Image: DTTSP

So the lovely Chloe from Chloe Bee's Life was kind enough to tag me to take part in the 'This Time Next Year' tag and I do love setting myself some goals/getting my priorities organised, so I thought it best to seize the opportunity to do so! You can check out Chloe's post here and keep on reading if you want to find out where I want to be in a years time...


Rules of the tag:

This time next year... I'll have finished college, qualified in what I want to do and be learning new skills to entwine perfectly with my chosen career path

I'll achieve this by... working hard, keeping positive and accepting help off others if I need it

This time next year... I hope to have more of the tattoos & piercings I want

I'll achieve this by... keeping healthy enough to have them, planning my time and saving up some money

This time next year... I'll be fully moved in with my boyfriend and also be able to drive

I'll achieve this by... pushing to carry on going through all the things I've hoarded, hopefully securing a part-time job to earn some money and also by having the confidence to take my driving test

This time next year... I'll have gotten into a healthier eating pattern & lifestyle, learnt more yoga and go to the gym regularly

I'll achieve this by... planning ahead with my meals, setting out a timetable/to-do list in order to keep me on track and try to learn more coping mechanisms for my anxiety in order to go to the gym

This time next year... I'll be blogging regularly and even making videos to fuel my enjoyment of this hobby/passion of mine

I'll achieve this by... once again organising my time, pushing myself to allow time for things I enjoy and creating myself a nice space to work from

What do you want to have achieved by this time next year? Lets have a natter in the comments! 

Stay curious

I feel there's a little bit of morbid curiosity in how people go about certain things, so I wanted to talk about where I am with my blogging currently & the basics on my process behind it, what I use and why I do. I'm hoping that this is going to be a great way of tracking any progress I might make; I can check back here and see if the way I operate is any different or improved in the future. 

Overall what's most important personally is that I want to make my blog beautiful for me, however it can be easy to lose sight and waver; after all there's a lot of pressure out there in the blogging universe as you're putting something out there for anyone to read and potentially be critical of. When I first started dabbling in blogging just over a year ago, things were starkly different. Twitter wasn't as big a tool for blogging as it is now, content of posts was valued more than blog appearance, marble backgrounds and blog trends weren't something I was aware of! After taking a long break due to ill health (albeit ongoing) you can imagine I had the shock of my life coming back to blogging in a completely different world within such a short space of time. Don't get me wrong I know people still want good content, but if people hit up your blog and don't particularly like the way it looks, they're less inclined to read. Hence why my blog is my project and creative outlet, I don't wish to conform or achieve perfection, I merely want to create my own little space on the internet that I can be proud of. So, getting to the point here's how I've been doing that!

(Many of you are probably aware of all these things but I always find it interesting to know the behind-the-scenes)

Why I Use Blogger

As you may have seen in my Blogging Improvements post I'm on the hunt for better photography equipment, like a good quality camera and tripod. I'm in the process of saving up so at current I just use my iPhone 6 to take my photos; I do have a 'proper' camera but the camera on my phone is actually better and with it being so quick & easy to sync up to my Macbook it all makes for quicker turnaround time! As for blog props my supply is limited for now but I'm hoping to build a solid collection to match my theme and then I might even post about all the props I use. In the meantime I have a couple of fake flowers, some wallpaper samples, a few scatter crystals and a few of my own watercolours, that's about it! I don't have a specific place to take pictures I just usually go wherever the natural light is best in my house. I always feel that you don't necessarily need the best camera to take great pictures, after all a good camera doesn't automatically make you a fantastic blogger, though I'm sure it's helpful.

Onto editing, I'm sure a lot of people already use this I'm not going to go crazy on it, I use picmonkey to edit my pictures, I don't tend to do anything fancy and I don't have any intention of spending money on editing software. Plus the fact I like when things aren't complicated and picmonkey is so easy to use.

I'm sure many of you have heard of it but the final thing I find most useful (although a bit buggy) is Canva. It's quick, simple to use and presents endless opportunities for you to play with. You can use their selection of free images & text or of course your own; there's filters & other options for most things you add to your image so you can customise pretty much whatever you want. I've used Canva for lots of things but I mainly use it for blog headers, either for on here or to pop with my new post link on Twitter. 

Honestly I find this the easiest part personally, although I have to be in the right mood to write otherwise nothing happens and I'll sit around procrastinating by making coffee and watching stupid videos on Youtube. I think the reason I don't find writing a daunting task is because from a young age I've always loved to write and excelled at this in high school, going on to study it and achieve an A at A-Level. Now of course I am older and a little rusty so my past does not mean in any way that I am perfect at writing; everyone makes mistakes and can slip into colloquialisms, letting their accent shine through. For me I've always got that teacher voice in the back of my mind telling me to write in 'proper English' and as judgemental as this may seem I do have a tendency to cringe when I see others write with incorrect terms, spelling, grammar or tense (for example 'I like them ones' instead of 'I like those ones'). But as I said this is conditioning from my education; if your post is good and hits home with me then I'm not fussed about errors, I'm sure I've made plenty myself.

In order to avoid mistakes as much as I can I proofread until the cows come home! Both in edit and in preview as Blogger has a tendency to show different formats on both of these. I'll read and re-read at different times in the day and I'm a huge fan of reading my posts aloud as I find that mistakes are far easier to notice that way. I write because it's cathartic, and I feel the writing aspect of blogging is sometimes much more creative than anything else (biased much?). Please don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good, bright, crisp image but writing will always be my number one and the ultimate show of talent, after all what would blogging be without words?

Post Promotion

This is something I toy with but as I blog for a hobby I don't tend to push my posts down people's throats, in fact it's quite rare that I'll even remember to promote my posts on Twitter. I usually pop it up in the #teacupclub Monday meeting and then pop a link up the day after, that's usually it unless I actively choose share it again. I don't schedule tweets or any post promotion on Twitter but every so often I'll share a blog picture & link on my Instagram. I solely enjoy blogging as it is and not all the extraneous tasks that can accompany it, I find them too stressful and if I'm proud of what I've produced then I don't need to go out of my way to gain affirmation from others. However, what I do appreciate is comments that give me feedback on how my post was received, thoughts on my photos and on my writing as these are all great in helping me to improve and learn new things.

What are your blogging failsafes? Let's get nattering!

Stay curious

A short post, more of a little note-to-self about the main things I want to achieve to make my blogging experience better, to learn new things and be proud of/content in what I'm producing. I have a mind like a sieve so I figured that making a pretty checklist and popping it on here means I can't forget and can easily refer back to it! All in all the main goal for me is to be able to look at my blog and be filled with a sense of pride; that the place I put aside as my creative outlet is a positive place for me to be. Here's how I hope to achieve this in the near future:

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This isn't a planned post at all but I felt the overwhelming need to write so I am doing. I don't know if I'm the only one this happens to - I imagine not - but lately I just feel like life is really catching up with me and overnight my priorities, wants and needs from life have all changed.

Now a lot of this has been ongoing since the end of last year but recently I find myself flipping from wanting to run away and be single, living off the land; and then the next minute I want marriage, a house, a family. It's so disorienting and I don't quite know how to find balance. Maybe it's the influence from many around me either going off on adventures or settling down and having children (seriously though, like, EVERYONE is having babies right now!)

On a personal level there's been a huge shift for me where I came to the realisation that I am in fact a hoarder and was getting myself into a rather worse situation than I was already in. I managed to tackle it before the hoarding caused much of a cleanliness issue (dust mainly), however I'm now the opposite end of the scale where the sight of mess and clutter induces a panic attack. I want much less 'stuff', no mess and everywhere tidy; unfortunately this isn't an easy thing to achieve as years of hoarding means there's a lot of things to sort through, throw out and clean, which of course takes time. Knowing that there's so much to tackle also becomes very demotivating and instead of getting things done and making progress, things have remained stagnant despite how much I want to sort my life out.

Naturally there are a lot more contributing factors to my situation, including ongoing issues with my health (hence the lack of posting) which is very frustrating but I'm forced to take things day by day. I plan to talk more about health, well-being and how I've tackled my issues in future posts but for now I just wanted to get this off my chest. If any of you can relate to anything mentioned in this post I'm right there with you. It's hard being a certain age and seeing everyone else settle with their life but feel the one who is still mentally flighty, footloose and fancy free!

Do you think there's such a thing as 'age appropriate' behaviour?

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Hey cats!

Blogging has been a slow process for me lately but I'm hoping once August hits I'll be in a much better place so that I can blog much more regularly and get some good content going that I enjoy writing and that hopefully others will enjoy too! (*Edit - As soon as August hit I got a migraine for a couple of days followed up by some sort of illness, boo hiss) I've not really got many favourites for July as I'm in creature-of-habit-mode (definitely a thing) and my favourite things haven't really altered from those that I've previously mentioned. My skins started to change though so I'm looking at new products which I imagine will shape my future favourites!

Yet another product that just turned up in my bedroom for me to try thanks to my Mum, I'm glad though. There isn't much to say about this other than that it's absolutely amazing! First of all I noticed that a little goes a long way, the cute little dropper helps you keep track and I use about 3 drops once or twice a day and that moisturises both hands fully. What's great is that it also doesn't actually feel oily at all and absorbs into skin super quickly leaving them silky smooth with no greasy residue left over. Another bonus is the smell, it is absolutely divine and to me, smells like a really expensive old-fashioned gent's perfume (for some reason this smell is both comforting and indulgent). Only thing I would say about the smell is that maybe don't use this right before you leave the house as it may interfere with the perfume you're wearing, that's why I tend to use it mostly at night before I go to bed. Lastly but possibly the best part about this product, it's totally cleared up the horrible, scaly and terribly itchy patch of eczema on the top of my hand that had been there for months and that even prescription creams couldn't shift! So if you're at your wits end with eczema or dry hands I would definitely recommend this!

I first saw this on Instagram and was like 'I have to try this' and I have no regrets. These lip creams are incredible and amazing value at just £2.99 each, I plan on eventually getting every colour available. They are definitely moisturising and glide on so smoothly, I find that you don't even need a lip liner to keep control of it and after a days wear it stays put and doesn't bleed. Plus, a little goes a long way, the colour is really well pigmented.What I like about them is they give a matte effect on your lips but leave them smooth and silky, so you can still smack your lips together and they don't stick or feel dry but remain perfect, matte and velvety. I've also found that the consistency helps to give a plumping effect, such a bonus! Last thing is it smells so tasty, like vanilla and cupcakes. I really like using this over the top of Collection's Colour Pout Lipstain in 'Kiss 2'; for me it sets a really nice base to put the lip cream on top!

I saw this when having my usual browse of Makeup Rev products and saw this hoping all my hopes and prayers had been answered; finally a good quality, compact and budget contour, blush & highlight all in one! Being new to this whole contouring thing I figured this was the perfect place to start and my god it's bloody good. All the colours work perfectly for my milk bottle pale skin and the pigmentation of the colours is great. The blush is a nice and subtle tone, enough to give you a natural looking flush and the bronzer gives a neat looking contour that again looks completely natural. I have to say my favourite part is the highlight popped just on top of the cheeks, I've mainly started using just this and the bronzer because I love the way the highlight makes my cheeks look and its a much better highlight for me personally than any of the liquid ones that I've tried. A great place to start too if you're thinking of trying this new 'strobing' malarky. It also has a handy little mirror for on-the-go and is definitely handbag appropriate size-wise. Would definitely recommend this whether you're a beginner like me or a seasoned pro!

This little beauty has surprised me. Upon first seeing it I dismissed it and left if on the sale rail, but for some reason when I went back and saw it the next week, it seemed like a completely different cardigan and I wanted to give it a try; had it been over a tenner I doubt I would have bought it. However, I'm so glad I did because since buying it I've worn it pretty much non-stop as it just seems to go with everything and is super comfy! It's fairly lightweight but substantial enough to keep the chill off (great for typical English Summertime) and it's perfect for adding a Navajo/Boho vibe to any outfit. Only downside I'd say is the lack of sleeves but it's going to make a great gilet over long sleeved tops in the Winter!

What's been floating your boat this July? 

Here's to an awesome August!

As the crude title suggests, I actually used video editing software for the very first time in my 24 years on this earth! This may seem small to some but for me this was a big achievement in a long line of things I'm hoping to accomplish at some point this year and beyond. A lot of things I wanted to do this year but I'm learning to be more realistic with my goals and accept that anything I achieve whether it be now or down the line is still a big thing. I'm only human and I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself. Albeit this post is public, for me it's more of a personal record of what I've done and how it made me feel (which is great when I'm on a downer and trying to chuck my life out of the window metaphorically). If anyone can gain some insight or this gives you a boost into finally doing something you've wanted to do but have been putting off then I'll be a million times happier and will feel like I've achieved so much more.

Okay, so what did I use exactly? Nothing special of course, the only thing I had to hand is Windows Movie Maker - an outdated version at that - but for me personally that seemed like an excellent (not to mention simple) place to start considering it was free and at my immediate disposal. However, my first try didn't run too smoothly and if I hadn't attempted it again then this blog post wouldn't exist and I would most likely still be in a complete funk thinking I'm stupid and I can't do anything. First lesson there, don't give up/if at first you don't succeed try and try again/insert other cliché sayings here. This first failing was completely down to a defect in my personality which means I don't read instructions or do my research first, I instead just blaze in balls to the wall and get everything completely wrong thus contributing to a self-fulfilling prophecy of "I can never do anything".

After a week of moping my stubborn side kicked in and assured me I wouldn't be defeated, so I calmly looked up some help videos, got to grips with the software and then I decided to film a practice video to edit. Filming was an experience and a hellishly awkward one at that. Now, I feel I'm a seasoned expert in the way of talking to myself (and my cat) but as soon as I was sat in front of a camera my anxiety took over, I struggled to make eye contact and my limbs were out of control with nerves. I have such respect for people who do YouTube as a job, as I know many suffer also with issues such as depression or anxiety and honestly I was quite shocked at myself that I was so affected. Nevertheless I powered through because the filming wasn't entirely important, I just needed something to edit. Baby steps and all that. But the experience in itself was significant, and as a person that albeit doesn't read instructions, does actually like to plan for things and craves being prepared for upcoming projects. It made me aware that if I do start to film and put videos on YouTube, I know for sure that I need to do it for myself and no one else, so that I can build my confidence, be able to do spontaneous and unscripted things and also have a good time and keep a record of those memories; without them being edited to perfection. If anyone happens to like what I do then so be it, I'd be just as happy. I believe you've always got to start with yourself and do things for you; know that it isn't a selfish way of behaving.

Is there anything you're looking to achieve this Summer/this year? 

Stay curious